


Hold On To Me

by Lailaps



Series: Loud Like Love [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, M/M, Romance, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 23:05:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10886778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lailaps/pseuds/Lailaps
Summary: Lyrics belong to Placebo, respectively. I couldn't manage to write a single word without them, so a BIG thank you to Placebo!!





	Hold On To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics belong to Placebo, respectively. I couldn't manage to write a single word without them, so a BIG thank you to Placebo!!

_I am a small and gentle man_  
_Who carries the world upon his shoulders_  
_Kindly lend a helping hand  
_ _Come over_

“Hush... Don't say anything, Castiel.”

“You shouldn't be here. Not now, not with me. You have more important things to do.”

“The world is ending, and you're just a man now. Why wouldn't I come? I'm not here solely because of you, but you are the most important reason.”

“I know that,” Castiel muttered. Crowley smiled, but there was something in his eyes. Like he knew something that he kept hidden behind his black eyes. “Come here.” Castiel pulled Crowley on the bed, of which edge he was currently sitting.

“Lay with you? At a time like this?” Crowley teased softly, caressing Castiel's cheek. “Of course I will.”

_And hold on to me_  
_Hold on to me_  
_And hold on to me  
_ _Hold on_

After, when Castiel's naked and sweaty body was wrapped around Crowley's, they both looked each other in the eyes and they both knew what would happen. Castiel pressed his nails against Crowley's skin, knowing that he was a mere human, with no power to actually hurt the demon whose body was entwined with his on the damp sheets they'd creased during their painful and heartbreaking love-making.

Crowley moved his hand from Castiel's warm thigh to his chest, which he caressed with his fingertips. He kissed Castiel's parted lips, while drawing a infinity symbol with his finger on the chest of a man he truly, and endlessly loved and adored. Castiel ran his fingers through the demon's hair, moving his tongue along Crowley's neck.

_And my behaviour is hard to understand_  
_When I'm like a phone with no connection_  
_But I'm still doing all I can  
_ _To try and get me some redemption_

“There's nowhere I'd like to be right now, except here,” Crowley whispered. “I should thank Bobby for... arranging this room for us.” Castiel swayed his hand and smiled wearily.

“I'm tired.”

“It doesn't feel like it felt before. You're not an angel any more, and making love to you doesn't feel as overpowering like before. You're not a burning coal against me any more, Castiel. You're just.. human.”

“Forgive me, Crowley.”

“No, it's fine. Really, don't sweat it. I don't care what you are. Well, the reason I originally started flirting with you was that you were an angel. To tarnish something so pure, something so divine... But it's not the reason I love you. You believe so firmly in destiny, that you'd do anything to achieve the things you're _supposed_ to do. But I changed it... didn't I? I did something to you.”

“You moved me,” Castiel said quietly. He turned to look Crowley's naked body with a sorrowful smile in his face. “And now, what am I any more? I'm sucked dry. Destiny, if this is it, I don't want it. Crowley, I don't want this any more. I feel so insignificant.” The soft skin of Crowley, rather his vessel's skin, was sweaty and Castiel's teeth marks were still lingering there. Just barely to be seen.

_And I'm knee deep in sinking sand_  
_Crying out for your attention_  
_Kindly lend a helping hand  
_ _For once defy convention_

Castiel saw himself, his reflection, inside Crowley's black eyes. His eyes were like doors to a different universe, so deep and so vast that it made Castiel's stomach turn. He was tired, he was hungry. But still he couldn't stop looking into the demon's eyes.

“I'll be here until you fall asleep, Cass.”

“No. Go, it'd be easier that way.”

“We knew _nothing_ would be easy after we got involved with each other. We knew that every step we take was a step closer to the final end. You may have lost your wings, but you're still an angel to me. I'll stay. You sleep now, my love.”

Crowley was as good as his words, he waited until Castiel fell asleep. Though he could see what pain his dreams brought Castiel, he still left him. Got up and got dressed. And just to torture himself, he walked slowly out of the room, opened the door and slipped out. He closed the door behind him and realized how heavy the air was in there.

“So?” Crowley turned to look at Bobby, whose eyes were curious and alert. Crowley smiled, but the smile didn't find it's way into his eyes.

“Everything went... fine.” Crowley felt a sudden twist in his stomach. A pain that couldn't be explained with no other than a breaking heart. “Castiel is sleeping. Let him be for a few hours. He needs it.”

“Why is it, that every time you leave, it seems like you leave Castiel behind? He's a wreck.” A rhetorical question, which Crowley left unattended.

“I must leave now.” Crowley disappeared, leaving behind Bobby who rolled his eyes and turned to look at the closed door. Behind it, Castiel was fast asleep and his heavy breathing was clearly audible. Bobby sighed, knowing that it'd be another few days of sighs and rueful looks from Castiel.

_It is the inner union --  
_ _and Heaven descending_

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
> Feedback
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * Constructive criticism
>   * "<3" as extra kudos
>   * Reader-reader interaction
> 

> 
> [LLF Comment Builder](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/post/170952243543/now-presenting-the-llf-comment-builder-beta)
> 
> I always reply to comments! <3


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